That just happened. Home one to follow.

". . . imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, 'This is an interesting world I find myself in, an interesting hole I find myself in, fits me rather neatly, doesn't it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well, must have been made to have me in it!' This is such a powerful idea that as the sun rises in the sky and the air heats up and as, gradually, the puddle gets smaller and smaller, it's still frantically hanging on to the notion that everything's going to be alright, because this world was meant to have him in it, was built to have him in it; so the moment he disappears catches him rather by surprise. I think this may be something we need to be on the watch out for."

Photography post, yo. I compiled some of my favorite shots (with the Nikon) and I'm gonna store them in this post.

Photography's a funny thing for me. I mean, nowadays just about everyone is a "photographer." Frankly, I definitely would not call myself a photographer. That's a title you earn after years of working with cameras, laboring in dark rooms and being all kinds of bamf. I just point and click... but, that said, I really like it. It's a good hobby to have and I'm the kind of person who can bounce between hobbies without finding something to make me stay. This has been surprisingly constant.

Furthermore, I love Wake Up by The Arcade Fire. I mean, I have for awhile now... ever since I heard it in the Where the Wild Things Are trailer... like every other college kid ever.

(949): the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
TRUEST THING EVER.( +I'm staring at the asphalt wondering what's buried underneath )

 

I bet you suspect, and rightly so, that not enough time has passed for me to be updating you on life... thus, this shall be brief.

The past few days have been rather nice. A few nights ago Kate, Alyssa and I just chilled in Joe's suite and played Apples to Apples for awhile (OMGSOFRESHMENYEAR.) But really, it was a hilarious time. I met a few new people whose company I really enjoy and I would love to hang out with them more. Again, I really want to put myself out there and expand my social horizons--and these past few days have been really successful in that respect.

In fact, Kate and I had dinner with that same group sans Joe. Look at us: taking off the training wheels. Lawlz. But yeah, things can get pretty damn dull at night so a simple night of A2A can go a long way in my book.

It's been getting ridiculously cold these past several days. We are just blowin' through fall, aren't we? On top of that, I think I've come by that neverending cold you get that manages to follow you all the way through March. Those perpetual sniffles, that itchy throat, eugh. I'm hoping it isn't the forever cold, but I'm starting to wonder.

On the Halloween front, I've been waffling between ideas: Alice or Holly. I love both, but I'm going with the latter. Alice is typically depicted as blonde, anyway, and I'm not big fan of wigs. So Holly Golightly it is! She's easy to put together as a poor college kid. Speaking of, I hope Halloween is funnnn... I mean, I'm keeping expectations low as last year was kinda ridiculous--and not in the good way.

There's another Boston bus this weekend and much as I'd like to go, I don't think anyone else is really feeling it. Besides, it's good to spend weekends here and be all Tim Gunn, "make it work" and what-not. I have faith in your Clark weekends--you shall be fun.

On the academics front, I really feel like a slacker. Don't get me wrong, I do my work. I get things done. I just don't feel very motivated and proactive when it comes to classes. I want to be a go-getter. I'm going to start to put myself on a stricter schedule... maybe some mandatory library time so that I'm studying for some period of time every day. The fact of the matter is, I know I can get things done in a pinch, but I don't want to continually put myself under that kinda stress.

Alas, I'm now going to bed far later than I ought to be.

Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
Paul Varjak: Sure.
Holly Golightly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name!

So, I'm currently en route to Worcester after two days-ish at home. It was a nice time--it's always a bit of a relief, getting away from Clark. It's so weird how separate my life at Clark and my life at home are. When I'm at home, I'm at home. When I'm at Clark, I'm at Clark. And there's little room for both when I'm either here or there.

I went to the Topsfield Fair on Saturday which was a really good time. I gorged myself on food (German fries, vegetable tempura, rice, pizza, fried dough, and soft serve... holy crap... in all fairness, the majority of that was shared with other people) and went in the haunted house for the first time in my life AND IT WASN'T EVEN SCARY. Jeeze. I've dreaded that thing my whole life and all it is is... dark and occasional banging. Whatever. I'm proud of myself. Unfortunately, it was FRIGIDLY cold and, despite gloves and a hat (which I bought), I could not get warm and spent the latter half of the eveing shaking. I took a bunch of pics, though. Not sure how they came out but I plan on doing a bit of editing when I get back to Clark.

It was really great to see people, though--particuarly those who I seldom get to see during the year. It really wasn't enough time at home to properly catch up with people, but I made the choice to get back to Clark and catch up with my work... eugh, econ test.

Last night I had a weird dream. I was in Worcester, but Worcester looked like war-torn Germany or something. I was moving through these delapidated buildings, trying to catch up with these people (I *think* they were friends from Clark, but y'know how dreams are--not often very clear.) I know I was being stalked by a killer and I really wanted to keep up with the people from Clark so I'd be safe, but I just couldn't. THEN someone who will go unnamed approached me and asked if I could look after their newborn twins. Apparently the fact that this person had children didn't faze me as I accepted the task. SO, I was running away from a killer with this person's children in Berlin Worcester.

Elena informed me that being stalked by a killer is indicative of something seriously stressing you out. I don't really know what I'm so anxious about, but I've definitely been grinding my teeth in my sleep which is unusual for me.

Today I slept in and didn't end up doing much of anything. Around 430, Weave drove me out so I could catch the commuter. We ate pizza before getting to Wellsley Square. And that's more or less it... shame about them Red Sox, eh? Big fail. Weave was not happy.

Alas, now I have to pay for a $10 cab ticket. Not yay.

Today is quite, quite cold. Even so, Kate and I went out and took pics, walking to Dolan and back. My ears were in excruciating pain--gotta invest in one of those floppy-eared hats, I suppose. It's good for me to get out with my camera as often as possible, but I already find myself bored with the same old surroundings. I've got to man up and explore Worcester a bit more... and I do have quite a bit of free time to do so.

Once again, I find myself bogged down with a need for change. I don't like feeling so complacent, so safe--it's terribly dull. I mean, I am meeting new people, I am getting involved (CUFS, ROCU), but still. I actually have a few new goals, but I'm not quite ready to write them out, in case they don't flesh out. They aren't life-changing, per se, but they're good for me. And Friday I hope to go do something kinda different... hopefully.

Furthermore, I need to stop reaching out to people and just let it be. Like the Beatles. Because I'm just stressing myself out worrying about people and I keep putting myself in the worst positions. Not to say it isn't worth it, but there's only so much you can do, y'know?

In two weeks, I'll be going home for the first time for the fair. I think I may just stay Friday and Saturday and catch the commuter back to Worcester that Sunday. Maybe while I'm home I can go Halloween shopping :3 I don't know what I'll be... Ana wants me to be a pin-up girl, but ha, I don't know. Still want to be Holly Golightly at some point, but perhaps not if I'm just going to end up at Rocky Horror Halloween weekend.

It's been awhile since I uploaded a mix here. I just started an October playlist, so I may actually have one this month. I also should spend more of my free time futzing in photoshop--get the creative juices flowing again.

Also, if you have my free time and want a tv fix, watch Community (with Joel McHale) and Glee. They're fabulous.

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot?
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Each prayer accepted and each wish resigned."

Drive-by update:

• In a good, hopeful mood :) I feel like I'm moving towards a really good place and I just gotta keep truckin', even if I do have minor setbacks.
• My organic, free trade chocolate lip balm is awesome.
• I have so much reading to catch up on and today might just be dreary enough to get me to do it. Here's hopin'.
• I'm in a classic movie mood: maybe I'll watch Breakfast at Tiffany's later... or Casablanca... or Psycho (one of these things is not like the other...)
• I'm no longer upset about yesterday's mix-up. Shit happens, move on, etc.
• Ok... nomz tiem.

So I've been dreaming a lot lately--rather, I've been actively remembering my dreams lately. It's weird: I've gone years with remembering only a handful and now it's every night. They aren't bad dreams, per se, but they are wearing on me a bit. Le sigh. Maybe i'll write them out in a locked post.

Last night was silly, but a decently fun time. Clark is a whole lot of waiting for something to happen.

EDIT@2:08PM: Remember kids, nearly getting molested is the price you pay for skipping econ.

Y'know what?

I'm gonna do a bad thing.

I'm gonna go to econ, hand in my homework and leave. Because it is too beautiful today. I know each class costs an exorbitant amount, but there are only so many days that it's this nice. Soon it will be too cold or it will rain or I'll be in some kind of bad mood. Not today.

So, from 125-250, I'm going to sit outside and read. Maybe take pictures.

Let me repeat: I absolutely believe skipping class is a royal waste of money. I don't often condone it, but life is what it is: sometimes you have to do what's gonna make you happy and accept the consequences. Now if only I could apply that to other aspects of my life...

This is, of course, assuming I can get someone to hand in my econ work for me.

If not, um, I guess I will be going to econ...

Last time you were called beautiful?
Uhmmm, I don't know! Not in that "em0", it's never happened way, but in a "I can't remember five minutes ago" way.

Has someone ever called you at midnight on your birthday?
Don't think so--FB posts, yes.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating?
I would hope so.

Do you think you've ruined your chances with someone?
Probably.

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
Raspberry lemonade.
( + something to waste time with )